Subtle Misdirection

The Devil's Lab

2011-05-25T10:39:00.000-06:00

I've been working on taking down ideas, and writing scripts for The Devil's Lab, in the mean time, with Austin already making video posts to his blog, and Scott planning on following, it's probably for the best that I actually work on a personal vlog, as well as the hopefully funny and informative Devil's Lab.

In other news, I suck at making actual blog posts, so all those "micro-blogging" alternatives are probably best if you want to actually follow anything I say, check out my twitter page, and facebook page for more up to date information on what's up, and when I have witty or informative things to say of my own accord.

Thought of the Moment, a short consideration of Reality and Perception

2010-12-28T22:07:00.000-07:00

I have many pages of notes taken on this subject, and many hours of thought, logged throughout my thinking life. Is there such a thing as a pure reality? Unbiased, uninterpreted, pure. So far as I can tell, no. What we call reality, is in fact, specifically relative to each human being, with perhaps a broader sense of reality able to be applied to more instinctual creatures per each societal group.

Our perceptions are the filters through which our reality must flow. Indeed, there is no method of intake, which I'm aware of, through which we can purely capture the world around us. Our five physical senses are not filters, the abilities to feel, see, hear, taste, and smell, but are our primary intakes of the world, and all it has to offer. Our experiences, our memories, thought processes, likes, dislikes, mental state, et cetera, all of things are filters. If we accept that these several things filter our intake, that no two people can share exactly the same filters, though many are similar, and that the combination of intake and filter create our reality, no two realities are the same.

What I've referred to as filters, can also be regarded as the building blocks of individuality, and more specifically personality.

So I decided...

2010-12-28T19:50:00.000-07:00

I decided to write today, here, on this very blog in fact. Reasons? None really, boredom most likely. Today I decided not to bring my computer with me to work, the primary reason for this decision is that with my new room layout, getting my computer untangled from the web of wiring that it resides in, a web which, as my mother so aptly noted, would make even Donald Duck cringe. It's probably true. I'm an electronics junky. The Playstation, my laptop, and the stereo are now all on the same wall, that alone spells hazard, and there's more junk connected over there to boot.

The reason for the change? New bed, futon to be exact. It's nice to finally have a bed that lets me lie down without hanging off the edge, heck, I could very nearly turn sideways comfortable. Albeit, it is just a full size bed when folded out, it's awesome to me, and rearranging my room is a hobby of mine. Every six months or so. Though this time, the actual rearrangement, from first piece of garbage picked up, to floor vacuumed and everything, sans a single bookshelf, moved at least once. Thanks must go out to Jacob, my younger brother, and to my Dad, for helping out with the moving of things, it would have been possible without them, just a ton more difficult.

Seems that's it. For those who haven't before, check out Lifehacker.com, it's pretty much full of awesome information.

In honor of Scott

2010-09-10T00:42:00.000-06:00

A
- Available: Nope, not even close.
- Age: 24
- Annoyance: People who think potted plants double as trash bins.
- Animal: Grey Fox, Black Hawk

B
- Beer: Stinks, really. How do people drink it?
- Birthday: 13 June 1986
- Best Friend: Scott
- Blind or Deaf: um... is this asking me to choose? Or asking if either is true?
- Best weather: Jacket weather, no doubt. Rain if you've got it.
- Been in Love: Yep.
- Believe in Santa: Always.

C
- Candy: Not a big fan of it, but I do like the occasional Bit o' Honey or Starburst.
- Color: Grey Blue.
- Chocolate/Vanilla: Chocolate
- Chinese/Mexican Food: Mexican by far.
- Cake or pie: Cake? I guess?
- Continent to visit: Europe probably.
- Cheese: Pepper Jack

D
- Day or Night: Night
- Dancing in the rain: I'd be too afraid of slipping and breaking something. Besides, rain is for sitting in, not dancing in.

E
- Eyes: Light Brown
- Everyone's got: Snot
- Ever failed a class: Yep, a few, though they may have counted as Incomplete...

F
- First thoughts waking up: Must... urinate...
- Food: Can't say no to eggs.

G
- Greatest Fear: um... can't think of it right now.
- Goals: I believe the correct term is "Go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-al!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
- Gum: Polar Ice or its equivalent
- Get along with your parents: Mostly

H
- Hair Color: Dark Brown/Black/Red
- Height: 6'3"
- Happy: Well enough off.
- Holiday: Halloween
- How do you want to die: As an old man underneath a tipped over vending machine.
- Ice Cream: Chocolate, just chocolate.
- Instrument: Started many, mastered none.

J
- Jewelry: At any given time, generally one paracord bracelet, sometimes two, a black beaded necklace, and a ring.
- Job: Front Desk Clerk and Weekend Auditor at a hotel.

K
- Kids: Sometimes need a glare, sometimes need to practice somersaults and learn the finer points of hopping like a frog
- Kick boxing or karate: hmm... karate, figure it's a more balanced martial art. Am I wrong?
- Keep a journal: Have a few, they all end about halfway through. Like most of my fiction writing.

L
- Love: Believe in it.
- Laughed so hard you cried: Nah, I prefer to be on the other side of the laughing.

M
- Milk flavor: Plain ol' milk 2% if you would, Vitamin D is a bonus.
- Movies: meh. I watch the ones I want to.
- Motion sickness: On occasion, more from video games than from moving vehicles.
- McD’s or BK: McDonalds, I like to occasionally go back for the spicy chicken sandwich, though it's been a while.

N
- Number: XIII

O
- One wish: Peace of mind.

P
- Pepsi/Coke: Coke, Classic or Zero, either is fine.
- Perfect Pizza: Pepperoni, Italian Sausage, and Jalepeno
- Piercings: None

Q
- Quail: is the only thing somebody could come up with for the Q section.

R
- Reality T.V.: Don't watch enough actual tv to consider reality tv
- Radio Station: Whatever is playing a good song at the moment.
- Roll your tongue in a circle: Okay, now what?
- Ring size: twelve? eleven? can't remember...

S
- Song: None stand out at the moment
- Shoe size: 13
- Salad Dressing: Bleu Cheese or Honey Mustard
- Sushi: Haven't found a style I don't like
- In the shower: There's never enough Hot Water to go around
- Strawberries/Blueberries: Strawberries

T
- Tattoos: Nah, I prefer plain clean skin
- Time for bed: is a matter of opinion
- Thunderstorms: Are alright, but I prefer just the rain

U
- Unpredictable: ?

V
- Vacation spot(s): Disney Land, happiest place on earth

W
- Weakness: hmm
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you: None really, should they?
- Worst feeling: Splinters, I hate that feeling.
- Worst Weather: Hot

X
- X-rays: I have had many. Hope there's no negative effect because of them.

Y
-Year it is now: 2010
-Yellow: um... yeah... Yellow.

Z
- Zoo animal: The desert section is always fun.

Only a Mark

2010-09-04T03:46:00.000-06:00

It's the small things that hit home. That get under the skin, give you the creeps. The little connections that you never see until you're not looking for them.

It's late, and I'm reading a book. House of Leaves. An excellent read, non-standard by all definitions. Never read a book like it. Probably never will again, unless it ends up changing the way people write, and read, the way I hope it does, but know it never will.

VIII, the heading to the page, the beginning of a new section. No title, though Webster's definition of SOS does lend a vague insight to the following pages. Pages which cover a lot of ground. That distance isn't important though. Not tonight. Not right now. How do we know that even Johnny and his footnotes lend insight to something we can't see.

There's more. Something I notice early on, but don't comprehend until the end of the chapter, nudged slowly to understanding by the torrent of words and images, all of which gathers together, puddling at the edges of my mind. Everything means something. There is no accident, no whim. Not here, not in this world, this realm, which as I read, I find cannot be confined to a page. No, refuses to be. Opening eyes to something which was always there, but which I did not see. Like the house, ever growing, changing.

I returned to the beginning, placing a flag, a reminder of things I can't, or won't, discover now. Cut short in my idle wondering, doubting of my future fidelity to my desire. Cut short by a simple check-mark, nothing too large or too small, nothing of consequence, a simple check-mark made purposely as it was, not to be noticed. I can only exist, a remembrance somehow of the reason I once feared the dark. That which seemed so infinite, so intimidating, and most importantly, so unknown.

All stops as I see it, many precious seconds are lost, minutes for all I know. My lungs remind me with a searing pain that I must breath. This because of simple mark, though more. The reassurance of a scarred, embittered, and lonely boy to his mother. Reassurance that he had received her letter. The question laps 'round my thoughts though, was the mark meant for her? or for me? If for me, did it know I would find it? Not in a search, but by accident, out of the periphery of my sight.

The mark frightens me. Like all unknown. Simply because it's a way for the book, taking cues from the house, to assert that it cannot be limited, and that all beyond is unknown.

Against reason, I'm jumping at shadows. Shadows of what will be found as I delve deeper into this ever shifting realm.

SOS

Thought you should know

2010-08-25T17:54:00.000-06:00

Got invited to a new blog as a contributing editor, check it out at http://editedworksunlimited.blogspot.com/. That's all, my main duty is editing some of the stories that go through, writing some of my own as well.

Kenjiro wished that he had his sword.

2010-08-17T16:08:00.000-06:00

It wasn't that his sword was really special in any way, it wasn't magical, and it wasn't forged by a legendary master sword smith, but it was sharp, and pointy, and long enough to keep a couple of undead from eating your face off if you happened to be hanging upside-down from a well hidden trap in a forbidden castle.

A right and a wrong way

2010-06-26T17:54:00.000-06:00

So, something that keeps on coming back to me, and that I feel like putting down here for all to read. One day I was happily dishing up my dinner, when in horror I looked at my plate and thought aloud, "Gosh, I didn't put my food on my plate right, all the white is right next to each other, there's no color to make it interesting." To which my mother, who for a lot of her life has worked as a food stylist, responded, "Oh no... I've raised my children in a way that makes them think there's a right and a wrong way to put your food on your plate."

The only way I could respond to that was, "Isn't there?" as I rearranged my food to include some nice grated red ginger and green onion slices to the mass of white, and some vegetables between. My mother, after some thought, and a bit resignedly, responded, "Yeah, I guess so..."

Nope, not a moral to this story, just a bit of maybe-interesting insight.

Feeling the Love

2010-05-13T09:41:00.000-06:00

It's been funny to see over the past month and a half or so, as long as I've been working at my new job as the Front Desk Clerk at a local hotel, how a lot of the time, even the smallest kind gesture, or minuscule task performed, can make somebody's day. Alright, maybe it has a bit to do with the fact that I'm a front desk clerk, and that people don't expect anything at all from me when they arrive, but it's so easy to make somebody smile, or become a grateful friend rather than just a worn and weary traveler passing through, or a family traveling for a hospital stay with each other.

Here's an example, two days ago I fixed the bolts in a toilet seat, which, admittedly, did take a while to work out, but figuring that a toilet just isn't a toilet without a toilet seat, it had to be done, and may as well be done with a smile. The smile and the helpfulness earned the trust and confidence of a family staying for several days. Getting somebody a wheelchair for their wife and helping get them settled in a room, fetching plates or plastic eating utensils, helping older people with getting luggage from place to place, and making sure that general problems that pop up, just the things that need to be done anyway, sometimes things that people wouldn't have brought up without previous confidence, or knowledge that they had an actual friend at the front desk to help out.

It's a small thing, but do your job, do it with a smile as best you can, do it not for the paycheck, but for the people you serve, and the coworkers you serve with. Do the small things, the things that aren't in the technical job description, make friends, do your best. It makes work, though it's still work, a much happier place for all.

Yeah, I'm Back

2010-04-30T18:15:00.000-06:00

So, I'm thinking that the last blog attempt that I had, at the exit13 address, wasn't the right way to go, so I'm back here, probably to stay, maybe with something interesting to comment on or write about from time to time. As always, I promise nothing (unfortunate as that may be), but I'll do what I can to keep things updated, this isn't my online journal after all.

Hope that all is well with all of you out there in internet land, those I know and don't, local or abroad. Talk to you all as time goes on.

Living the Imperial Life is Evolving!

2009-06-16T11:46:00.002-06:00

Yes, you all know that I don't update this thing, so it may come as a surprise to learn that I'm actually moving to a new blog... why? I don't really know... other than the fact that I knew I had lots of webspace sitting and doing nothing, just waiting to be exploited for the common good... or... something like that anyway.

Check out the new blog, Subtle Misdirection, you can even subscribe to it right here on blogger by adding http://www.exit13productions.com/blackhawk to your subscription list. I'm also still on the lookout for content and editors for the Subtle Misdirection blog, any who are interested, or have a specialized interest or hobby that they would like to add to the new site, all you have to do is let me know, and we can make it work. Thanks for the patience with this tortoise of a blog, here's to a better tomorrow with Subtle Misdirection.

A New Home for Exit13

2009-03-21T02:53:00.002-06:00

For those who read this... I'm going to make this short, because that's really all I have the energy for... I'm just trying to get this info out to everybody that I can.

Thursday the 19th forumarena had some trouble with server maintainance and ened up killing the forums that they were hosting... the exit13 forum was hosted by them... it was free... and a sweet deal... rather than trying for another free place with the same risk I've bought a domain name and have set up a forum on the space I'm renting from a new host... the url for the new place is as follows http://www.exit13productions.com and the forum can be found at http://www.exit13productions.com/forum.

There's not a lot to look at as of right now, I'm still learning, but the forum is functional, and the home page is... bearable to look at for the moment... though all sub pages are... well... in latin... so I'm working on it all. Long story shorter, if you were a member of the forum before, or are interested in becoming one now, please do so. Also, if you know anybody who was a member of the old place, let them know about the new one, I'd appreciate it. Thanks everybody, and now, I'm off to pass out.

No Such Thing as a Free Lunch

2009-03-17T00:14:00.002-06:00

So, I checked Jaycey's Blog and found this, it took me a bit to decide, but then I thought, yeah, sure, I think I can do this, so here it is.

Here's how it works...The first three people to comment on this post will get something from me, possibly made by me. My choice--but just for you. This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:

1. I make no guarantees that you will like what I give!
2. What I create or give will be just for you.
3. It will be done this year (sometime, I don't know when)
4. You will have no clue what it is going to be.
5. I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The catch? Oh, the catch is that you must re-post this on your blog. The first 3 people to do so and leave a comment telling me you did, will win a marvelous homemade gift or handpicked gift by me! Let the games begin! Oh, and I have to be able to contact you with mailing information! I promise it will be something good! Good Luck to all!

Seems interesting, at least, something to make me think a bit if people join up for it, my addition to the rule is that you really don't have to post this again to get something... I really don't like the posty againy things that make you propogate the thingy to benefit from it...

I think it may be a rant

2009-01-30T23:45:00.003-07:00

You won't get the title... you would if you had seen the multi sentence title I had typed in before I finished the post. Use your imagination.

Ever been so frustratingly bored that you find yourself checking the same static web page every five or so minutes hoping that the sheer magnitude of your boredom can will something new and exciting into existence? I've been sitting in this state for the past few weeks. At this point, what I've been up to (work, cub scouts, planning the perfect speech to chew out the bishopric this Sunday) isn't really important, because it's become boring. Perhaps a definition of boring is in order, maybe in conjunction with how exactly I'm feeling at the moment, and have been for a while.

First, boring, what is it. When something becomes uninteresting to the point that I can hardly make myself think about doing it let alone do it, when I've done something so many times that it's lost it's novelty. My boring life has in the past few weeks simmered to the point that existing is like a continual wait at the DMV, a wait in which you've picked your number only to look up at the now serving sign and notice that while you have number three, they are now serving number four, and won't let you take another number even though you're the only person in sight. It's knowing that you're sitting around and waiting for something that you're not quite sure you're excited about, but that's likely going to happen anyway, whether you're liable to notice it or not.

It's a round about way of saying it, but nothing is happening that hasn't happened before, and very generally something that happens consistenly daily or weekly. The easy answer is to go out and find something new to do, or to meet somebody interesting or exciting, but the fact of the matter is that I'm really so disinterested in anything of the sort that I really can't be bothered, which is a shame really. It's a frustratingly frustrating conundrum.

If only it was easier to shut down the brain, when I can't figure out anything for my mind to latch on to it likes to come up with things for itself, which is not a good thing. Really, the worst part is that it seems to have made itself up which subject it would like to think about, one that I tend to make an active effort to not think about (which really destroys the point, the point being not thinking about it), and which is fairly depressing with no immediate or near future solution in sight, none that are plausible anyway. Coincidentally experience shows that solving the problem my brain won't let me drop will also fix the boredom thing, ideally anyway.

With luck (which I'm not surprisingly lacking in) this will all wash over, though after weeks of boredom it's hard to imagine that it will either just go away, or that a remedy will magically appear. Personally I think I'll be crossing my fingers for door number two, as at this point it seems infinitely more likely to actually happen, though I won't be holding my breath for either.

Blogging in 2009

2009-01-14T22:15:00.002-07:00

I've realized over the past year that writing up interesting little stories from my life for all the world (or a few friends) to look over isn't really my greatest strength, thus crossing another profession off of my list of things to make money doing. Of course, there could be other reasons for this, such as not finding the right things to write about, or for that matter, being interested in almost anything enough to bother wanting to write about it. With that of course, it's expected, I'm sure, as this is titled blogging in 2009, that I'm about to make an amazing resolution to blog more for your reading pleasure this year, that's where anybody reading this would be wrong.

After several botched attempts at making resolutions between the years 1986 and 2002 I realized that resolutions are a joke, and one easily forgotten between the months of January and February, so obviously they're not very funny jokes either. That being said, this is a fairly dreary place, with very few articles, and fewer readers, though I do appreciate those who do check in from time to time. With 2009 however, comes my continued mission here, to write when I feel like it, and try to make quality posts from time to time, punctuated by the odd game of blog tag.

Also, before I forget, I'd recommend everyone forget about making resolutions, the new year isn't a good excuse to try and kick yourself in the butt. My advice, if you know there's something you need to do, or which you'd like to improve about yourself, make the decision every day you're alive, so long as the goal is important to you. New Year's Resolutions fade and die, with little meaning once the Martinelli's induced stupor fades off. Having an every day personal goal though, that's something that can stick with you, because it's something you mean, it's real and personal, not just some annual exersice in your procrastination abilities.

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-26T00:28:00.004-07:00

Lucky Number Four

2008-12-12T00:04:00.004-07:00

Because lately it seems like I only post if somebody tags me to on their blog.

This one is Scott in my backyard, drinking a soda, with Jacob's Airsoft Shotgun. I think that day we were taking pictures of a new costume that I'd put together. I also think we only saved those to Scott and My phones, so tough luck finding them again. Coincidentally, the picture comes out of the folder I'm storing all of Kim's Happy Birthday footage in.

Just Because I Can

2008-12-09T18:44:00.003-07:00

I know I shouldn't, but here it is, a post for the sake of a post.

7 Things to do be before I die-

Beat Super Mario Brothers
Visit Japan
Find meaningful motivation
Find a line of work/study that I can actually enjoy
Get Married
Raise a Family
Live

7 Things I Cannot Do

Find a line of work/study that I can actually enjoy
Get through the second level of Metal Slug without dying
Sleep
Manage to wake up early enough to go for breakfast on the weekend
Remember to read/watch the things Scott is lending me
Take down more of my posters
Remember who has my copy of Cowboy Bebop

7 Things I say most often

Fair enough
What?
Okay
Why?
Maybe
Really?
Crap

7 Books I love

The Phantom of the Opera
Night Watch
Good Omens
Crime and Punishment
Wuthering Heights
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
Through the Looking Glass and what Alice saw there

7 Movies I could watch over and over again

Shaun of the Dead
5 Centimeters per Second
Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence
Kung Fu Hustle
Spaced (tv series)
Dead Like Me (tv series)
Some other movie

The Trench Coat...

2008-10-15T23:32:00.004-06:00

I've found that a lot of times people mistake the trench coat as a Matrix thing when they see you wearing one, that or they think you're going to break out in shooting things with the gun you have hidden. Some people might want to go for this kind of image when they where one, but the reason I wear one goes a bit further back into my childhood than that.

Truth is, as soon as I realized that I could wear one, I was, which was before any of these silly things (Matrix, shootings) had really come around. My first was the classic tan trench coat (if I can find pictures I'll post them later), which I don't think are really in style anymore somehow, but which I still see every now and again during the winter. I would guess either late elementary or early Junior High as the time that I started wearing it, and why? What would make me think (and still think) that the trench coat is so great. It all goes back to one of my ultimate, and original heroes, one that had actually slipped my mind for a while, but may help explain a few things.

This right here, the picture to the left, this is probably the earliest I can remember ever having a hero from a movie, Dick Tracy, he was just plain awesome to me when the movie came out back in 1990. The toy Dick Tracy watch that doubled as a light (but which in the movie, and in my mind, doubled as a radio) was probably my first piece of gear, the coat didn't follow for quite a few years, but Dick Tracy is still the reason that I got it, yeah, he stuck with me that long.

Now, isn't that just so much cooler? Dick Tracy will probably always be the penultimate detective and police officer in my mind, a really good guy who knew what was right and what was wrong, but who was still human, he had his strengths and weaknesses, wasn't perfect, but did his best. I can honestly say he was a role model for me back then, and actually kind of helped to form who I am today, from what I wear and what I'm interested in, all the way to my personality and sense of justice.

Of course, not all credit goes here, without the myriad of other influences in my life this would have just been another movie to me. After all, if the seed hadn't already been planted in me, how would I ever have even taken note of this fictional detective? Anyway, in a round about way, that's the story of my trench coat, I graduated from the tan, to the a gray blue coat that I wore through high school and up until I served a mission, from my mission on I've worn the black coat that most of you probably recognize the best. It's just a part of my life now, and represents to me, something more than what it does to most people today. It's right and wrong, justice, it's being imperfect, but doing your best. Besides the fact that, well, it's just plain cool.

The Force Unleashed

2008-09-17T21:06:00.007-06:00

As a lot of you may know, I'm a big fan of the Star Wars universe, movies, books, movies, and of course, games (though there is an unfortunate number of just okay Star Wars games out there...). This last Tuesday the newest entry into the Star Wars Universe was released, under the title, Star Wars: The Force Unleashed. Now, normally I wouldn't recommend Star Wars games to just anybody, but for everybody who's ever seen the series of movies (aka everybody) this game is a must, as it fills in the gap that's left between Episodes III and IV... officially... as in, this is an official George Lucas approved episode of the Star Wars Saga, which is saying a lot.

[tangent] *warning... you can skip this if you'd like...
See, a lot of things come out as far as Star Wars is concerned, like I said, games, books, etc. and not all of those things are considered official. Yes, everything is 'approved' by Lucas, but it tends to be approved into the "Expanded Universe" category, which means, yeah, it's Star Wars, yeah, Lucas approved it, but if he ever decides to write anything new, it might end up changing something that happened in a book or game. Not so in this case, The Force Unleashed is Official, see with a capital "O" that means it's important.
[/tangent]

To keep this from running too long, Scott, James, Raiden, and I, all went to the release from Monday to Tuesday, it was fun. We learned that there's a difference between Star Wars Geeks (James, Raiden, and I) and Nerds (just about everybody else there, with a few exceptions) if you want more details, I'll fill you in later, just an observation. Anyway, Raiden didn't make it the whole night, being just a padawan, he got to about then thirty and was ready to be done, James rejoined us later. It was a long wait, but worth it, the game is great, and I'm not one to spoil it, but trust me when I say it's important, and full of revelations you won't see coming. If you're a Star Wars fan, like I know some of you are, get your hands on this game, one way or another, the only thing you'll regret is that you weren't at the midnight release to get the sweet Storm Trooper Commander action figure that came with being there. Better luck next time.

Autumn Winds

2008-09-11T23:14:00.003-06:00

There's a certain crispness in the air right now that reminds me every day that autumn is on it's way in, and summer is on it's way out. It's comforting really, and seems to bring a unique clarity of mind with it that no other weather can copy. That said, summer weather's not quite gone yet, and makes a cruel comeback from time to time... still, it's hard to be remotely upset, knowing that the next morning promises for more of the good fall weather that the summer was holding back on us.

Fall is my favorite season, in my mind there's nothing else that can really compare with it. The weather is great, no heat to get in the way of anything, crisp air (which is honestly the best way to describe it I think, other than sharp maybe...), thinking is easier, and everything seems more streamlined and clean. Here's to fall making a comeback again this year, for those in good climates, enjoy it when it arrives, and take a moment to contemplate... is summer really all that great?

Contrast

2008-09-05T22:44:00.004-06:00

I've been going through my old sketchbooks, I've been wanting to do another contrast of my pictures to see where I've come in the past few years. Is it better? I'm not sure, I made a bad decision in choosing a really exemplary picture that I drew... my others from the time don't really stand up to it, but I love it. New one is on top, old on the bottom.

Pass it on

2008-08-08T00:39:00.003-06:00

I was actually wondering whether I would fill this out after having just filled a different one and posted it here, but after seeing my name at the bottom of Kim's blog as somebody this is being passed to, well, it was set in stone. Let's do this.

A: Attached or Single? Single
B: Best friend? Scott
C: Cake or Pie? Cake
D: Day of Choice? Sunday Evening
E: Essential Item? It's a toss up between a supply of Phoenix Down or Underwear...
F: Favorite Color? Cobalt Blue
G: Gummy Bears or Worms? ...worms?
H: Hometown? The City of T
I: Indulgence? Katamari Damacy... it's a guilty one
J: January or July? Because I like good weather, January
K: Kids? I hate questions that are one word with a question mark...
L: Life isn't complete without? Friends and Family
M: Marriage Date? Seriously?
N: Number of Brothers & Sisters? Three brothers, two sisters
O: Oranges or Apples? Apples, but only crunchy ones...
P: Phobias? Helplessness
Q: Quotes? "The greatest glory consists not in never falling... but in rising every time we fall. Success is not final; failure is not fatal; it is the courage that keeps us going."
R: Reason to smile? Others
S: Season of choice? Late Fall
T: Tag seven peeps! (see list below)
U: Unknown fact about me? For part of my life I collected free internet cds, I still have a lot of them, you never know when they'll could in handy... could be never... could be tomorrow.
V: Vegetable? Broccoli
X: X-ray or Ultrasound? um... I'm not exactly sure what this question is asking...
Y: Your fave food? None that I can think of
Z: Zodiac sign? Gemini

Now, considering that everybody whose blog I read has already done this... except for one... I'm nominating Austin... though the whole Brilliant thing with his blog is... questionable... now to go kick his butt so he'll do this...

The Great Fifty Things Survey Caper

2008-08-05T17:10:00.005-06:00

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? I need a haircut...
2. How much cash do you have on you? Eleven bucks and some change
3. Whats a word that rhymes with “DOOR?” Lore
4. Favorite planet? Irk
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? That I missed? My Mom
6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone? The Steel Samurai theme from Pheonix Wright
7. What shirt are you wearing? My Legend of Zelda T-Shirt
8. Do you “label” yourself? It happens sometimes
9. Name the brand of your shoes you are currently wearing? I don't think socks count...
10. Bright or Dark Room? Dim, but it could be a little darker in here.
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? I think she'll be okay with me stealing this in my spare time...
12. What does your watch look like? It has the Lich King's Crown (from The Lord of the Rings)
13. What were you doing at midnight last night? um... it all kinda blends together... erm, on my computer?
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say? "0_0" -Jo
15. Where is your nearest 7-11? Around the corner... what corner? Take your pick.
16. Whats a word that you say a lot? Okay.
17. Who told you he/she loved you last? Well, that's been a while I think.
18. Last furry thing you touched? Raiden's head when he came to work for lunch today.
19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days? Over the counter count? One.
20. How many rolls of film do you need developed? I've gone digital, oh yeah! That said, I have a couple of memory cards to do...
21. Favorite age you have been so far? The past year and a half hasn't been too shabby, I'll go with the year of 20-21
22. Your worst enemy? Shouldn't it be more a matter of who my best enemy is?
23. What is your current desktop picture? A cool picture by Ken Akamatsu of the Love Hina characters
24. What was the last thing you said to someone? "Yes?"
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be? The Million is tempting, but flying.
26. Do you like someone? Specifically? It's hard to say.
27. The last song you listened to? "Across the Sun" it's a pretty awesome one.
28. What time of day were you born? Some time.
29. Whats your favorite number? 13
30. Where did you live in 1987? Same place I've always lived... only more upstairs...
31. Are you jealous of anyone? myeh, off and on
32. Is anyone jealous of you? If they are I'd like to hear about it actually
33. Where were you when 9/11 happened? At home for the first, First Period for the second
34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money? Twitch a bit, consider destroying the machine, and calmly walk away.
35. Do you consider yourself kind? Sometimes.
36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be? myeh, probably the boring left upper arm, but for a good reason, ask me if you're overcome with interest.
37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be? Japanese of course
38. Would you move for the person you loved? Yes, for love, what would most of us not do?
39. Are you touchy feely? Not generally, but there are exceptions, I tend to let other people choose how much or little space they want around me.
40. Whats your life motto? Be yourself, think for yourself.
41. Name three things that you have on you at all times? Pocket Knife, Ring, a spare car key...
42. Whats your favorite town/city? The City of T, not for the place, for a few good friends, and a few good memories.
43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash? A Khaos and a Tabasco Slim Jim.
44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it? um... about a year I think.
45. Can you change the oil on a car? Yes, but why do that if Scott can do it for me at the Lube?
46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her? She had a dream that was a cross between Gilmore Girls and Twilight...
47. How far back do you know about your ancestry? A bit, just a sec... let me go read the volumes on my book shelf...
48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy? What's fancy? The last time I wore a suit was last winter, I was probably at church.
49. Does anything hurt on your body right now? Yeah.
50. Have you been burned by love? If I knew precisely what that meant I might be able to give an answer, but since I'm not quite sure...

Sleepless Nights and Photo Mosaics...

2008-08-04T01:39:00.006-06:00

Insomnia Strikes again.

What is your first name? Joshua

What is your favorite food? erm... I don't really have one... boiled broccoli?

What high school did you go to? Taylorsville High School
What is your favorite color? Cobalt Blue
Who is your celebrity crush? hmm... Jennifer Connely?
Favorite drink? 7/11 Hot Chocolate (When the weather is good)
Dream vacation? Akihabara
Favorite dessert? Fudgcicles
What you want to be when you grow up? Useful
What do you love most in life? The Empire
One word to describe you. Curious
Your favorite animal? The Gray Fox

1. If Only, 2. lunch: tofu Thai green curry w/brown rice, 3. DSCN0134, 4. The Secret Life of the Moon, 5. hailey, 6. yummm, 7. Akihabara, Japan, 8. Fudgcicle malfunction, 9. Run Bunny Run, 10. Peregrine Falcon :: Empire State Building, 11. Oh, I like to stand here and watch the birds..., 12. Attentive Grey Fox

Remember that one time?

2008-07-26T01:16:00.002-06:00

Well, because I try to keep the rules on these things, and I posted on the good ol' Jay Bon Goh blog under this activity, here goes nothing.

As a comment here on the blog, leave one memory that you and I have shared, regardless of how well or how little you knew me at the time, just about everything is fair game, so long as you remember it, and I at least have a vague recollection of it...

Next, repost the basic instructions on your own blog and see what turns up. You may be surprised, you may not, but in general, memories with friends are never bad things to dig up every now and again, heck, maybe you'll even find something to jot down in the dusty old journal.

The Dual Nature of Belief

2008-07-14T22:05:00.000-06:00

I was thinking about something or other today, I can't really remember what it was, but I ended on a strand of thought I've gone over a few times. That strand is belief. Belief is an awesome thing, it's an enabling kind of thought process. If you believe that something is so, then in your mind it becomes so. It helps you to accomplish things you may never have tried otherwise. We as humans believe in a ton of things, we can believe in ourselves, in others, in honesty, in virtues, in a purpose, all of these things helping us to better ourselves in some way or another. It's not a matter of weather something we believe is true or right, the belief can benefit us.

That's not my entire strand of thought of course, the above is pretty well accepted by just about everybody who's ever practiced it, which is most of the world's population I imagine. No, the completion of the strand was this, that belief can also work against us, though I'm not sure if people ever really think about it, perhaps if they did, they would work around it. Some examples, people can believe they can't use computers, they can believe they can't play a sport, they can believe that it's better to chew their gum with the paper wrapper still on... anyway, the point is that in the end, a lot of these things can be counter productive. A lot of the time though, I don't think that we catch them when we say it.

When we believe something negative, it more often than not comes out something like, I can't use a computer, I can't play this sport, etc. The definitive cannot, takes the place of the simple fact that we don't think we can. We can believe so many different things, we can enable ourselves in so many different areas of our life through simple belief. Why not in these areas? What keeps us back from achieving everything? From doing anything? My thought is that people simply hold themselves back through firm disbelief in their own ability, it becomes rooted, and we begin to believe that rather than being just a thought on our part, it's a fact.

There are those who look past this, who ignore what they've been told, perhaps even what others have told them, and believe that anything is possible. People can believe that if they put their mind to it, that if they try, even if it takes time, that they can do it. These are the great people, and I personally believe that we all have it in us to become great people. We can all become people who dare to do, who dare to learn, who dare to break through the impossible, be it our own disbelief, which becomes a solid I can't to us, or to breaking through scientifically, medically, or mechanically, to find something that everybody looked past.

We can be whatever we want to be, so long as we don't let anybody else, or more importantly, ourselves, hold us back from our own infinite potential.

Catching up

2008-07-08T23:24:00.000-06:00

Right, since it's been so long since an actual update on this thing, I think I'll just do a quick catch up on my life. It may not turn out particularly deep or exciting, but life isn't always deep or exciting, sometimes it's just life. Let's do this.

I watched Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix last night, it reminded me how much I love the character of Luna, she's awesome. Evanna Lynch did a really good job of playing her in the movie I think.

First, I'd been waiting for Metal Gear Solid 4 to come out for ages, it's finally been here, and yes, it's yet again a great game, well designed, fun to play over and over again, with a well put together and thought provoking story. It'll be interesting to see where the story goes from here.

Next, it was my birthday last month, this year isn't really a groundbreaking birthday, no new special privileges come with it this time... dang...

I'm working full time right now, but don't seem to be making any real money... I hate it when that happens...

Anime is slow right now, I'm looking and looking, but it's tough to find one that I can really latch onto. For the record, Gurren Laggen and Lucky Star are both looking really good, and Samurai 7 is a pretty decent price at Best Buy right now, thinking of picking that one up.

I've been playing Maplestory again... it finally works on Vista for everybody's information, everybody should play it... or at least try it... it's deceptively addictive for a simple sidescrolling MMO. Yes, I have three characters at the moment...

Hmm, I think that's about all that's going on at the moment... ah yes, I'm also the Assistant Cub Master right now, Cub Country is coming up, hopefully we all survive it.

Issues, I guess

2008-06-22T17:09:00.000-06:00

Apparently I've had a few people upset with me for the past few months, my apologies for that, I really had no idea. The issue is over for now, for those who don't know what's what, I'll see if I can clear it up.

So, a few months ago I was out on the town with one of my best friends, my Barnes & Noble membership card, we'd gotten a really good coupon for CDs and were out trying to choose what we would get. In the end we couldn't come up with anything, and so sent out a mass text to a bunch of people (some of which I hadn't talked to in a while, but I was feeling generous) to see if they wanted anything before the coupon expired.

In the end I got one text back, it was from an old girlfriend who I hadn't even really talked to for about a year before. She had a request, I eventually found the cd and took it to her later that week. Turns out we still had a lot of fun together, so after a few weeks we ended up dating again. That's the old friend I'd been talking about in an earlier text, yup, we were friends for quite a while before we started dating years ago. Anyway, it was an uncomfortable setup for a lot of people, my family got used to her again after not too long, some other people didn't, and let it fester without any kind of escape.

Things were going alright for us, but we realized that as boyfriend/girlfriend things just weren't working out, that, though we both still care about each other, we're better off being just good friends. Especially seeing as we don't have enough common interest to actually have fun together. We were just trying to hold on to dating, even though we both realized the eventual outcome. In short, we're not dating anymore, and again, sorry to anybody who for any reason was offended. Talk to me if there were or are issues.

Life is confusing, things seem to hardly ever happen the way you think they will, decisions that you thought were set in stone change based on situation. Sometimes things you thought you knew, you find out were never true. Often what you want to see blurs what really is, and likewise, what you expect can be turned completely on it's head by what really happens. Isn't life fun? Personally I'm still looking for my happy ending, I expect it's a ways off, time will tell. Let's hope I can be patient enough to make it to the right destination.

I'm back... finally.

2008-04-29T01:09:00.000-06:00

I've been off of this for a long time... As far as updates on my life go, well, in the past couple of weeks a few things have happened, and I'm happy about it all, life is looking up. A really good friend of mine that I've known for about five years, but haven't talked to for about two (it's complicated... or not, maybe I'll talk about it later) is finally a friend again, to the (strangely...) exasperation/amusement/horror, of many. I'm happy with it.

My Rock Band guitar broke about a month ago, maybe longer, I finally went to Best Buy and cashed in on the awesome warranty that I wisely chose to get when I bought the game, for two years they'll replace anything that breaks. Little did I know that what they meant was they'll take down an entire Rock Band set, open it, and give me the piece that I need... next time I'm just taking in everything and getting an entire new set... I don't think it would hurt anything. On a related note, the bass guitars have finally been released for Rock Band and we can now play with an entire band, can't wait for that, we played partial again on Sunday in preparation. It'll be awesome.

Taxes came in, I now have enough money for a couple semesters of college saved up... if I don't spend it all when Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots comes out on my birthday... and on Rock Band junk...

Just a couple pictures...

2008-03-18T23:35:00.000-06:00

I finally had the chance to go and put together a uniform for a new project that Exit13 is hoping to undertake, it's not finished yet, still has some minor details, but I'm really happy with what I've got so far. Jake got in on the action by finding a lab coat at the DI after I'd searched for and found one elsewhere... some people have all the luck, I like mine better still though.

Hopefully the group will have some videos up before the end of the month.

It's like prestige mode...

2008-03-16T23:48:00.000-06:00

For most of my conscious life I've tried to make a point of not panicking no matter what situation I find myself, I can only hope that I've been successful in maintaining that outward appearance, ask the people around me, I really don't know. That said however, I've found that there are times that you find yourself completely in over your head without enough warning to hold your breath, and you can't help but choke a little.

Just last week I found out that, for health reasons, the neighborhood Cub Master was being released from his post. Under normal circumstances that'd be no problem, the reason that this has me more than a little worried is (a) that looking at the current trend in the area, there isn't going to be a new Cub Master called any time really soon, and (b) I'm the designated Assistant Cub Master. I can only pray that somebody besides myself is called as Cub Master, because I'll admit that I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing, and the Blue and Gold Banquet is scheduled for two weeks from now.

In short I'm feeling more than a little overwhelmed right now, with full time work, and the new Semester coming up, however, I think I can use this situation I'm in to illustrate some kind of a point here. The question I've been asking myself is "how in the world am I going to be able to manage all this...?" and the answer is very easily, "I have no idea," but I know that it can and will be done. Why? Not because of any innate ability I have, but because of the people I know are counting on things getting done, who are, whether they know it or not, counting on my getting it done. It's funny how knowing other people are depending on you makes you get things done that you never thought you'd be able to manage otherwise.

Really, in the gist of things this is a really small matter, it'll be taken care of, with the help of others with the advice and encouragement of those who have gone before me, but the idea can be applied to bigger things. For example, I imagine that this is more or less a constant state of being for a parent regarding home, children, finances, etc. you never know what's going to happen, only that you have to make sure that things get done, for the benefit of the people closest to you. We all have our moments where we think we can't go on much more without giving up and just collapsing into a heap wherever we stand, but we can make it through, we were built to be able to.

Look around yourself and see everybody around you, those can lend you support, those may without even knowing it, be giving you the gumption to move forward, to reach out and pull you back up when you feel like you've gone under. They're there, friends, family, the people who look up to you, and who depend on your doing your very best. You'll make it through, we all can as we don't try to rely only on ourselves only, and if as we remember others before ourselves, it can give us the strength and conviction to tackle any obstacle that comes between us and success.

Another Day in Paradise

2008-03-01T02:35:00.000-07:00

Finding a drive is a difficult thing to do sometimes, we're only human after all, but it's what keeps us going from day to day, the thing that keeps us focused and moving forward, sometimes I worry that I've lost sight of mine, but hey, that's life for now, it'll show up sooner or later. Almost another week has gone by, and I've yet to figure out if anything worthwhile has happened, and remember if there was anything I was looking forward to other than just checking off another week on the calendar. Things have been pretty slow, work, school, and more or less life in general, with little to break it up or shoot for. Yup, that's worrisome for a person.

Shooting for long term goals is simple, you decide on what you want in the distant future and tell yourself that's what will happen, but without the little goals driving us forward it becomes less a goal, and more an unrealistic dream. The world keeps on turning around, and even if every day we remind ourselves of the big picture, if the details aren't fleshed out then it really defeats the purpose, and we end up somehow settling on a horizon line with a stick figure on it rather than the masterpiece we imagine our lives becoming. I think most of us are guilty from time to time of losing sight of the details, maybe more than we'd like to imagine.

If we can't find something worthwhile every week, and if we can't find something to look forward to in the coming week, I think we need to re evaluate what's going on and where we're going to. Consistently uneventful days and weeks turn all too quickly into uneventful years, and in extreme cases, even a completely uneventful life. Every person is different, so there's no real cut and dry way to define a solution, only to suggest finding what makes you yourself tick, and turning that into goals and personal drive. It's my suggestion, not just to anybody who reads this, but to myself, to find what drive we can in every day, to set goals for the little things, which in turn help make the big things fall right into place.

What's my own personal goal for this week? Well, find a goal for next week that can create a personal drive, something to look forward to, and follow through on it.

Life in the Fast Lane

2008-02-24T21:29:00.000-07:00

Or something like that anyway, living the Imperial Life isn't easy after all, it takes discipline, patience, and the ability to sit and play games like Bubble Bobble for hours on end. Yeah, that's was the highlight of the day back here at Imperial HQ. In addition, we had church, dinner, and some insane Super Mario Brothers madness with even Darkside taking up the wiimote to play a really good round through world 4-3.

On a more personal note, I cleaned my room up a bit and watched a couple of episodes of the excellent anime Genshiken. A must for any anime geek, or geek in general. The show has to do with going to college with a love of gaming, anime, model building, and everything dorky. Oh yeah.

And that's about it, Booster is now entertaining himself with some Mii making on the Mii channel, today has definitely been the day of the Wii. Nintendo Power.